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And this from Joe Birrindelli who lives in Sunny Mobil, AL. BB
3 REASONS TO LIVE IN A WARM CLIMATE ONE
and The Other Two
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I think the weather is beginning to get to a few of us. Heres one from Bill Bowker. BB
ANOTHER TWO FEET OF SNOW!!!!!!
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Thanks to Fred Currier for this one. BB
Hung Chow calls into work and says, " Hey, I no come to work today, I really sick. Got headache, stomach ache, and legs hurt. I no come to work."
The boss says, "You know something, Hung Chow, I really need you today. When I feel sick like you do, I go to my wife and tell her to give me sex. That makes everything better and I go to work. You try that."
Two hours later, Hung Chow calls again and says, " I do what you say and I feel great. I be at work soon......... Oh, and you got nice house!"
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I like this one sent in by Charles Murawski. BB
Roger's wife, Lucy, had been after him for several weeks to paint the seat on their commode. Finally, he got around to doing it while Lucy was out. After finishing, he left to take care of another matter before she returned.
She came in and undressed to take a shower. Before getting in the shower, she sat on the commode. As she tried to stand up, she realized that the not-quite-dry epoxy paint had glued her to the commode seat. About that time, Roger got home and realized her predicament.
They both pushed and pulled without any success whatsoever.
Finally, in desperation, Roger undid the commode seat bolts. Lucy wrapped a sheet around herself and Roger drove her to the Hospital Emergency Room. The ER Doctor got her into a position where he could study how to free her. Lucy tried to lighten the embarrassment of it all by saying, "Well, Doctor, I'll bet you've never seen anything like this before." The Doctor replied, "Actually, I've seen lots of them. I just never saw one mounted and framed before."
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O Lord I pray she didn't hear that stupid thing I just said. Sent in by Smokey. BB
On their 50th anniversary, a wife found the negligee she wore on her wedding night and put it on.
She went to her husband, a retired MARINE, and asked, "Honey, do you remember this?"
He looked up from his newspaper and said; "Yes dear, I do. You wore that same negligee the night we were married."
She said, "Yes, that's right. Do you remember what you said to me that night?"
He nodded and said "Yes dear, I said;
Oh baby, I'm going to suck the life out of those boobs and screw your brains out."
She giggled and wiggled and then said; "Yes, that's exactly what you said. So now its fifty years later, and I'm in the same negligee. What do you have to say tonight?"
He looked her up and down and said,
"Mission Accomplished."
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Old Grouchy found a good one. BB
FIRST TIME SEX .............
A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night to meet, and have a dinner with her parents. Since this is such a big event, the girl announces to her boyfriend that after dinner, she would like to go out and make love for the first time. The boy is ecstatic, but he has never had sex before, so he takes a trip to the pharmacist to get some condoms. He tells the pharmacist it's his first time and the pharmacist helps the boy for about an hour. He tells the boy everything there is to know about condoms and sex. At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy how many condoms he'd like to buy, a 3-pack, 10-pack, or family pack.
The boy insists on the family pack because he thinks he will be rather busy, it being his first time and all. That night, the boy shows up at the girl's parents house and meets his girlfriend at the door. 'Oh, I'm so excited for you to meet my parents, come on in!' The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner table where the girl's parents are seated. The boy quickly offers to say grace and bows his head. A minute passes, and the boy is still deep in prayer, with his head down. 10 minutes pass, and still no movement from the boy.Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down, the girlfriend leans over and whispers to the boyfriend, 'I had no idea you were this religious.' The boy turns, and whispers back, 'I had no idea your father was a pharmacist.'
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..Here are some Senior Jokes sent in by Joe Birindelli. BB
Aging
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Here's another keeping sent in by Wayne Paddack. BB
A precious little girl walks into a pet smart shop and asks, in the sweetest little lisp, between two missing teeth, "Excuthe me, mithter, do you keep widdle wabbits?"
As the shopkeeper's heart melts, he gets down on his knees so that he's on her level and asks, "Do you want a widdle white wabbit, or a thoft and fuwwy, bwack wabbit, or maybe one like that cute widdle bwown wabbit over there?"
She, in turn, blushes, rocks on her heels, puts her hands on her knees, leans forward and says, in a tiny quiet voice, "I don't think my python weally gives a thit."
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http://www.quarterhorsecav.org/WEEK2.HTM
