WARNING! - TROOPER JOKE AREA. JOKES MAY CONTAIN NUDITY, SWEARING, AND MAY BE FOUND OFFENSIVE BY SOME.
I bet a few of you were wondering the same thing. Thanks to John Vanerio for providing the answer to this mystery. BB
Just the kick start we need to get our day going!!!
WHERE DO RED- HEADED BABIES COME FROM?
After their baby was born, the panicked father went to see the Obstetrician. 'Doctor,' the man said, 'I don't mind telling you, but I'm a little upset because my daughter has red hair. She
can't possibly be mine!!'
'Nonsense,' the doctor said. 'Even though you and your
wife both have black hair, one of your ancestors may have
contributed red hair to the gene pool.'
'It isn't possible,' the man insisted. 'This can't be,
our families on both sides had jet-black hair
for generations.'
'Well,' said the doctor, 'let me ask you this. How
often do you have sex??? '
The man seemed a bit ashamed.. 'I've been working very
hard for the past year. We only made love once or twice
every few months.'
'Well, there you have it!' The doctor said confidently.
'It's rust.'
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Here's a neat one from Wayne Paddack. BB
Two rednecks are out hunting, and as they are walking along they come upon a huge hole in the ground. They approach it and are amazed by the size of it.
The first hunter says "Wow, that's some hole; I can't even see the bottom. I wonder how deep it is."
The second hunter says," I don't know, let's throw something down and listen to see how long it takes to hit bottom."
The first hunter says "There's an old automobile transmission here, give me a hand and we'll throw it in and see." So they pick it up and carry it over, and count one, and two and three, and throw it in the hole.
They are standing there listening and looking over the edge and they hear a rustling in the brush behind them. As they turn around they see a goat come crashing through the brush, run up to the hole and with no hesitation, jump in head first.
While they are standing there looking at each other, looking in the hole and trying to figure out what that was all about, an old farmer walks up.
"Say there", says the farmer, "you fellers didn't happen to see my goat around here anywhere, did you?"
The first hunter says "Funny you should ask, but we were just standing here a minute ago and a goat came running out of the bushes doin' about a hundert miles an hour and jumped head first into this hole here!"
The old farmer said "Why that's impossible, I had him chained to a transmission!"
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We haven't had a blond joke for awhile. Here's one from Jim Umphrey. BB
THE BLONDE AND THE LORD
A blonde wanted to go ice fishing. She'd seen many books on the subject, and finally getting all the necessary tools together, she made for the ice. After positioning her comfy footstool, she started to make a circular cut in the ice. Suddenly, from the sky, a voice boomed,
"THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE!"
Startled, the blonde moved further down the ice, poured a thermos of cappuccino, and began to cut yet another hole. Again from the heavens the voice bellowed,
"THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE!"
The blonde, now worried, moved away, clear down to the opposite end of the ice. She set up her stool once more and tried again t o cut her hole.
The voice came once more,
"THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE!"
She stopped, looked skyward! and said, "IS THAT YOU LORD?"
The voice replied,
"NO, THIS IS THE MANAGER OF THE HOCKEY RINK!"
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Thanks to Alan Benoit, we now understand... BB
Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me, I want people to know "why" I look this way!!!
A little known fact....
The first testicular guard "Cup" was used in Hockey in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1974.
That means it took 100 years for men to realize that their brain is also important.
(It also tells ya where their brain REALLY is!!!!!!)
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Thanks to Bill Bowker for sharing this great information. BB
Get used to it folk. This is the new TSA check in procedure at all airports starting Jan 1st 2010 !!!
I have already booked three trips! And I don't even know anyone in Dallas!
Heres another idea to speed up check-in time sent in by Charles Murawski. BB
This should speed up those pesky security lines!
New Airport Check-in Attire:
This eliminates getting to the airport 2 hours early, but you still have to take off your shoes.
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I think everyone is thinking about the same thing this week. Here's John Conley's Idea. BB
We at TPA, Terrorist-Proof Airlines, are in the flying business!
We can absolutely guarantee no WALK-ON GUNS, KNIVES, BOX CUTTERS, SHOE-BOMBS or other weapons will ever be carried onto OUR FLIGHTS !
Book your next flight with TPA, the safest airline in the industry.
AND, If a Muslim sees a naked woman he is obliged to commit suicide
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source
WELCOME TO OLE' BILL'S WEEKLY NEWSLETTER
January 2010 - Week 4
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