WARNING!! TROOPERS JOKES - Some of these may not be pleasant for the young or weak of heart.
Heres another good one from Tony Moscicki.
The Question of the Day is...
Will the Dollar fall or not?
The Key to Financial Survival is to be a Tight Ass!
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This amazing document was sent in by George Villanueva.
More Firearms Tactics
If these guys actually aimed their guns, these African wars would be over in days instead of years.
These pictures are from the recent unrest in Monrovia, Liberia.
Note perfectly executed flamboyant sideways-rifle "Glock Foh-Tay" running stance.
Amazing height and style on this one. Sure to impress the judges!
"Yo Yo YO, Fo' Shizzle"
The "bring your buddy along" firing stance
The "Homeless street person" anti-aircraft firing position being executed with great precision!
Here we have a classic! The "prone Warrior " firing position - too bad the magazine spring has blown out from the bottom of his beautifully blue-duct-tape-taped jungle magazine setup.
The Nautical theme is ever popular, as seen by this militiaman wearing the stylish Kapok life jacket. Won't stop a bullet, but sure looks Boo-yaa!
This pair is executing the difficult "Phat Bammer Swagger" shooting stance.
The Phat "Batman Begins" RPG firing position is new but hot.
And last but not least, these two are showing the proper way to fire a support weapon using the non-aiming duck-walk method, keeping at least five feet of linked ammo strung out from the weapon at any given time! Note the suitably awe-struck onlookers!
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Heres a great idea from Gary Chenett.
HOW TO INSTALL A HOME SECURITY SYSTEM
1. Go to a secondhand store and buy a pair of men's used size 14-16 work boots.
2. Place them on your front porch, along with a copy of Guns & Ammo Magazine.
3. Put a few giant dog dishes next to the boots and magazines.
4. Leave a note on your door that reads:
"Bubba,
Bertha, Duke, Slim, & I went for more ammo and beer. Be back in an hour. Don't mess with the pit bulls; they attacked the mailman this morning and messed him up bad. I don't think Killer took part, but it was hard to tell from all the blood. Anyway, I locked all four of 'em in the house.
Better wait outside. Be right back.
Cooter”
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These come in from Rob Ferguson.
International signs observed:
From a Norwegian Pub:
LADIES ARE REQUESTED NOT TO HAVE CHILDREN IN THE BAR
Roman Doctor's Office:
SPECIALIST IN WOMEN AND OTHER DISEASES
Drycleaners in Bangkok: (This ones for Tsunami)
DROP YOUR TROUSERS HERE FOR BEST RESULTS
Bangkok Temple:
IT IS FORBIDDEN TO ENTER A WOMAN IF DRESSED AS A MAN
Swiss restaurant:
OUR WINES LEAVE YOU NOTHING TO HOPE FOR
Japanes Hotel:
YOU ARE INVITED TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE CHAMBERMAID
New Book, co-authored by Jim Bakker and Jimmy Swaggart titled:
"Ministers do more than Lay People"
Transvestite definition: A guy who likes to eat, drink and be Mary
The difference between the Pope and Your Boss_ The Pope only expects you to kiss his ring!
I hate sex in the movies. The seat folds up, the drinks spill and the ice, well it really chills the mood.
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Charles Murawski sent this one in.
GRANDMA AND GRANDPA WERE WATCHING A RELIGIOUS HEALING PROGRAM ON TV.
THE EVANGELIST CALLED TO ALL WHO WANTED TO BE HEALED, TO PUT ONE HAND ON THE TV AND THE OTHER ON THE BODY PART THEY WANTED HEALED.
GRANDMA HOBBLED TO THE TV AND PUT ONE HAND ON THE TV AND THE OTHER ON HER ARTHRITIC HIP.
GRANDPA MADE HIS WAY TO THE SET AND PUT ONE HAND ON THE TV AND THE OTHER ON HIS CROTCH.
GRANDMA LOOKED AT HIM WITH DISGUST: "YOU JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND, YOU OLD COOT. THE PURPOSE OF THIS PROGRAM IS TO HEAL THE SICK, NOT RAISE THE DEAD!!
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Here are a couple I found in a dusty folder on my computer. BB
Boudreaux the Baptist
Boudreaux, a Cajun highlander from Rapides Parish in central Louisiana, was an older, single gentleman, who was born and raised a Baptist, living in South Louisiana. Each Friday night after work, he would fire up his outdoor grill and cook a venison steak. Now, all of Boudreaux's neighbors were Catholic... and since it was Lent, they were forbidden from eating meat on Fridays.
The delicious aroma from the grilled venison steaks was causing such a problem for the Catholic faithful that they finally talked to their priest. The priest came to visit Boudreaux, and suggested that Boudreaux convert to Catholicism. After several classes and much study, Boudreaux attended Mass... and as the priest sprinkled holy water over him, he said, "You were born a Baptist and raised a Baptist, but now you are Catholic."
Boudreaux's neighbors were greatly relieved, until Friday night arrived, and the wonderful aroma of grilled venison filled the neighborhood.
The priest was called immediately by the neighbors and, as he rushed into Boudreaux's yard, clutching a rosary and prepared to scold him, he stopped in amazement and watched. There stood Boudreaux, clutching a small bottle of water which he carefully sprinkled over the grilling meat, and chanted: "You wuz born a deer, and you wuz raised a deer, but now you a catfish."
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On a chain of beautiful deserted islands in the middle of nowhere, the following people are stranded:
Two Italian men and one Italian woman.
Two French men and one French woman.
Two German men and one German woman.
Two Greek men and one Greek woman.
Two British men and one British woman.
Two Bulgarian men and one Bulgarian woman.
Two Japanese men and one Japanese woman.
Two Vietnamese men and one Vietnamese woman.
Two Irish men and one Irish woman.
Two American men and one American woman.
One month later, on these absolutely stunning deserted islands in the middle of nowhere, the following things have occurred:
-One Italian man killed the other Italian man for the Italian woman...
-The two French men and the French woman are living happily together in a menage a trois.
-The two German men have a strict weekly schedule of alternating visits with the German woman.
-The two Greek men are sleeping together and the Greek woman is cooking and cleaning for them.
-The two British men are waiting for someone to introduce them to the British woman.
-The two Bulgarian men took one look at the Bulgarian woman and started swimming to another island.
-The two Japanese have faxed Tokyo and are awaiting instructions.
-The two Vietnamese men have set up a pharmacy, liquor store, restaurant, and laundry, and have gotten the woman pregnant in order to supply employees for their stores.
-The two Irish men divided the island into north and south and set up a distillery. They do not remember if sex is in the picture because it gets somewhat foggy after a few liters of coconut whiskey. However, they're satisfied because the English aren't having any fun.
-The two American men are contemplating suicide, because the American woman will not shut up and complains relentlessly about her body, the true nature of feminism, what the sun is doing to her skin, how she can do anything they can do, the necessity of fulfillment, the equal division of household chores, how sand and palm trees make her look fat, how her last boyfriend respected her opinion and treated her nicer than they do, and how her relationship with her mother is the root cause of all her problems, and why didn't they bring a damn cell phone so they could call 911 and get them all rescued off this Godforsaken deserted island in the middle of freaking nowhere so she can get her nails done and go shopping
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