Redneck Christmas float.

WARNING! - TROOPER JOKE AREA. JOKES MAY CONTAIN NUDITY, SWEARING, AND MAY BE FOUND OFFENSIVE BY SOME.

---

Attn C Troopers....Would someone please go by and check on Alan Benoit.....This is his submission for the week. BB<

To Everyone

This is a story about four people named Everybody, Somebody, Anybody and Nobody. There was an important job to be done and Everybody was sure that Somebody would do it. Anybody could have done it , but Nobody did it. Somebody got angry about that, because it was Everybody's job. Everybody thought Anybody could do it, but Nobody realized that Everybody wouldn't do it. It ended up that Everybody blamed Somebody when Nobody did what Anybody could have done.

Thanks to Everybody,Somebody,Anybody and Nobody

********************************************************************

Looks like somebody has been having Reindeer Burgers, uh Smokey? BB

Redneck Christmas float.

********************************************************************

Now we hear from Wayne Paddack. BB

Amazing picture of a Michigan Ice Breaker at work.....

Damned tough, them Michiganders!

********************************************************************

What I like about being a Senior Citizen. BB

• Number of days in a week: 6 Saturdays, 1 Sunday
• Bedtime: Three hours after falling asleep on the couch.
• Biggest gripe: There is not enough time to get everything done.
• Benefit of being called a senior: The term comes with a 10% discount.
• What is considered formal attire: Tied shoes.
• Why do retirees count pennies: They are the only ones who have the time.
• Common term for someone who enjoys work and refuses to retire: NUTS!
• Reason retirees are so slow to clean out the basement, attic or garage: They know that as soon as they do, one of their adult kids will want to store stuff there.
• What retirees call a long lunch: Normal .
• Best way to describe retirement: The never ending Coffee Break.
• Biggest advantage of going back to school: If you cut classes, no one calls your parents.
• What do retirees do all week: Monday through Friday, NOTHING. Saturday & Sunday they rest.
• Why doing nothing is hard work: You never know when you're done

********************************************************************

Thanks to Jeff Kramer, some of you Deer Hunters may wonder what your wife is up to while your hunting...BB

A professor at the University of Mississippi was giving a lecture on 'Involuntary Muscular Contractions' to his first year medical students.

Realizing this was not the most riveting subject, the professor decided to lighten the mood slightly. He pointed to a young woman in the front row and asked, 'Do you know

what your ass hole is doing while you're having an orgasm?'.

She replied, 'Probably deer hunting with his buddies.'...

It took 45 minutes to restore order in the classroom....................

********************************************************************

This brain teaser was sent in by Bill Bowker. BB

It is hard to find a joke today without a dirty word or two in it, but here is one:

Two tall trees, a birch and a beech, are growing in the woods.

A small tree begins to grow between them, and the beech says to the birch, 'Is that a son of a beech or a son of a birch?

The birch says he cannot tell, but just then a woodpecker lands on the sapling.

The birch says, 'Woodpecker, you are a tree expert. Can you tell if that is a son of a beech or a son of a birch?

The woodpecker takes a taste of the small tree and replies, 'It is neither a son of a beech nor a son of a birch. It is, however, the best piece of ash I have ever poked my pecker into.'

********************************************************************

Heres a continuation of last weeks "Santa Drama" sent in by Fred Currier.

This picture was found on the wall of a pyramid over 4,000 years old.

Santa has always had problems with the people in the Middle East.

This is an addendum to the video in last weeks newsletter.

Santa has many scores to settle.

Fred

********************************************************************

Speaking of Santa, Check out this Christmas Card sent in by Bill Bowker that will really get your attention. BB

********************

source

WELCOME TO OLE' BILL'S WEEKLY NEWSLETTER

December 2009 - Week 4