WARNING!! TROOPER JOKE AREA - SOME OF THEM ARE VERY EXPLICIT!
Heres one from Bill Bowker to get us started this week. BB Two Swedes from Wisconsin are sittin' in a boat on Dead Man's Lake , fishing and suckin' down beer, when all of a sudden Sven says, "I think I'm going to divorce my wife. She hasn't spoken to me in over six months"
Ole sips his beer and says, "You better think it over. Women like that are hard to find."
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Alan Benoit sent this one in. BB
I can't make stuff up that's better than this! - Redneck Hedge Trimming p>
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Here's a good one from Smokey. BB
A true story out of San Francisco:
A man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of America, walked into the branch and wrote "this iz a stikkup. Put all your muny in this bag."
While standing in line, waiting to give his note to the teller, he began to worry that someone had seen him write the note and might call the police before he reached the teller window. So he left the Bank of America and crossed the street to Wells Fargo.
After waiting a few minutes in line, he handed his note to the Wells Fargo teller. She reads it and, surmising from his spelling errors that he was not the brightest light in the harbor, told him that she could not accept his stickup note because it was written on a Bank of America deposit slip and that he would either have to fill out a Wells Fargo deposit slip or go back to Bank of America.
Looking somewhat defeated, the man said "OK" and left. The Wells Fargo teller then called the police who arrested the man a few minutes later, as he was waiting in line back at Bank of America.
**********************************************************
Fred Currier sent this one in. BB
Don't do this at home.
**********************************************************
John Venerio poses a serious question? BB
For decades pundits have been saying that the New Orleans Saints were so bad at playing football that Hell would freeze over if the Saints ever won The Super Bowl.
On Sunday, February 7, 2010 the Saints won the Super Bowl.
On that same Sunday Washington D.C. was paralyzed under several feet of snow and the Government was shut down.
Could this indicate the actual location of Hell?
**********************************************************
Grouchy sent this prize winner in. BB
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Bill Bowker and several other troopers sent in this keeper. BB
Confucius say
"If you are in a book store and cannot find
the book for which you search, you are obviously in the..... p>
**********************************************************
Here's a scary one from Jim Smith. BB
Why Exercise scares the Hell outa me!!
What do these women think is going to happen to all this extra body when they stop weight training?? V V V
**********************************************************
Another mystery finally cleared up thanks to Jeff Kramer. BB
FINALLY, SOMEONE HAS CLEARED THIS UP.
For centuries, Hindu women have worn a dot on their foreheads.
Most of us have naively thought this was connected with tradition or
religion, but the Indian embassy in Ottawa has recently revealed the true story.
When a Hindu woman gets married, she brings a dowry into the union.
On her wedding night, the husband scratches off the dot to see whether
he has won a convenience store, a gas station, a donut shop, a taxi cab,
or a motel in the United States . If nothing is there, he must remain in
India to answer telephones and provide us with technical advice.
**********************************************************
Thanks to Tom Witter for this Navy Joke. BB
The Navy Chief noticed a new seaman and barked at him, "Get over here! What's your name sailor?" "John," the new seaman replied. "Look, I don't know what kind of bleeding-heart pansy crap they're teaching sailors in boot camp nowadays, but I don't call anyone by his first name," the chief scowled. "It breeds familiarity, and that leads to a breakdown in authority. I refer to my sailors by their last names only; Smith, Jones, Baker, whatever. And you are to refer to me as 'Chief'. Do I make myself clear?" "Aye, Aye Chief!" "Now that we've got that straight, what's your last name?"
The seaman sighed. "Darling, My name is John Darling, Chief."
"Okay, John, here's what I want you to do ....."
**************************************
source
http://www.quarterhorsecav.org/WEEK1.htm
WELCOME TO OLE' BILL'S WEEKLY NEWSLETTER
March 2010 - Week 1
Two Swedes from Wisconsin are sittin' in a boat on Dead Man's Lake , fishing and suckin' down beer, when all of a sudden Sven says, "I think I'm going to divorce my wife. She hasn't spoken to me in over six months"
Ole sips his beer and says, "You better think it over. Women like that are hard to find."
**********************************************************
Alan Benoit sent this one in. BB
I can't make stuff up that's better than this! - Redneck Hedge Trimming p>
**********************************************************
Here's a good one from Smokey. BB
A true story out of San Francisco:
A man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of America, walked into the branch and wrote "this iz a stikkup. Put all your muny in this bag."
While standing in line, waiting to give his note to the teller, he began to worry that someone had seen him write the note and might call the police before he reached the teller window. So he left the Bank of America and crossed the street to Wells Fargo.
After waiting a few minutes in line, he handed his note to the Wells Fargo teller. She reads it and, surmising from his spelling errors that he was not the brightest light in the harbor, told him that she could not accept his stickup note because it was written on a Bank of America deposit slip and that he would either have to fill out a Wells Fargo deposit slip or go back to Bank of America.
Looking somewhat defeated, the man said "OK" and left. The Wells Fargo teller then called the police who arrested the man a few minutes later, as he was waiting in line back at Bank of America.
**********************************************************
Fred Currier sent this one in. BB
Don't do this at home.
**********************************************************
John Venerio poses a serious question? BB
For decades pundits have been saying that the New Orleans Saints were so bad at playing football that Hell would freeze over if the Saints ever won The Super Bowl.
On Sunday, February 7, 2010 the Saints won the Super Bowl.
On that same Sunday Washington D.C. was paralyzed under several feet of snow and the Government was shut down.
Could this indicate the actual location of Hell?
**********************************************************
Grouchy sent this prize winner in. BB
**********************************************************
Bill Bowker and several other troopers sent in this keeper. BB
Confucius say
"If you are in a book store and cannot find
the book for which you search, you are obviously in the..... p>
**********************************************************
Here's a scary one from Jim Smith. BB
Why Exercise scares the Hell outa me!!
What do these women think is going to happen to all this extra body when they stop weight training?? V V V
**********************************************************
Another mystery finally cleared up thanks to Jeff Kramer. BB
FINALLY, SOMEONE HAS CLEARED THIS UP.
For centuries, Hindu women have worn a dot on their foreheads.
Most of us have naively thought this was connected with tradition or
religion, but the Indian embassy in Ottawa has recently revealed the true story.
When a Hindu woman gets married, she brings a dowry into the union.
On her wedding night, the husband scratches off the dot to see whether
he has won a convenience store, a gas station, a donut shop, a taxi cab,
or a motel in the United States . If nothing is there, he must remain in
India to answer telephones and provide us with technical advice.
**********************************************************
Thanks to Tom Witter for this Navy Joke. BB
The Navy Chief noticed a new seaman and barked at him, "Get over here! What's your name sailor?" "John," the new seaman replied. "Look, I don't know what kind of bleeding-heart pansy crap they're teaching sailors in boot camp nowadays, but I don't call anyone by his first name," the chief scowled. "It breeds familiarity, and that leads to a breakdown in authority. I refer to my sailors by their last names only; Smith, Jones, Baker, whatever. And you are to refer to me as 'Chief'. Do I make myself clear?" "Aye, Aye Chief!" "Now that we've got that straight, what's your last name?"
The seaman sighed. "Darling, My name is John Darling, Chief."
"Okay, John, here's what I want you to do ....."
**************************************
source
http://www.quarterhorsecav.org/WEEK1.htm
WELCOME TO OLE' BILL'S WEEKLY NEWSLETTER
March 2010 - Week 1
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