DICTIONARY FOR WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS

Irish Cemetery

Irish Cemetery

Three Irishmen, Paddy, Sean and Seamus, were stumbling home from the pub late one night and found themselves on the road which led past the old graveyard.

"Come have a look over here," says Paddy, "It's Michael O'Grady's grave, God bless his soul. He lived to the ripe old age of 87."

"That's nothing," says Sean, "here's one named Patrick O'Toole, it says here that he was 95 when he died!"

Just then, Seamus yells out, "Good God, here's a fella that got to be
145!"

"What was his name?" asks Paddy.

Seamus stumbles around a bit, awkwardly lights a match to see what else is written on the stone marker, and exclaims,

"Miles, from Dublin."

Harry Berndt

harry.l.berndt@earthlink.net

Why Wait? Move to EarthLink.

source

Y! ID: gashewolf56 >

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• Lynn Seals, 51
• Smyrna, Georgia US
• School: Life

Date:	Sun, 18 Mar 2007 14:39:21 -0700 (PDT)
From:	"Lynn Seals" View Contact Details Add Mobile Alert Yahoo! DomainKeys has confirmed that this message was sent by yahoo.com. Learn more
Subject:	Fwd: Happy St. Paddy's Day!

pixsource

H ey? gimme my BALL back!!< /SPAN> < /FONT>

Walker <>

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• Walker Smith, 37
• Summerville, South Carolina US
• School: College Of Charleston

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Walker is your Friend.

Date:	Thu, 26 Apr 2007 15:22:13 -0700 (PDT)
From:	"Walker Smith" View Contact Details Add Mobile Alert Yahoo! DomainKeys has confirmed that this message was sent by yahoo.com. Learn more
Subject:	Fwd: FW: Smile!

Wednesday June 20, 2007 - 10:40am (EDT) Permanent Link | 0 Comments

DICTIONARY FOR WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS

This is Wayne Paddacks second effort this week.

DICTIONARY FOR WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS

 40-ish   -       49  Adventurous            -       Slept with everyone  Athletic               -       No tits  Average looking        -       Ugly  Beautiful              -       Pathological liar  Contagious Smile       -       Does a lot of pills  Emotionally secure     -       On medication  Feminist               -       Fat  Free spirit            -       Junkie  Friendship first       -       Former very *friendly* person  Fun                    -       Annoying  New Age                -       Body hair in the wrong places  Open-minded            -       Desperate  Outgoing               -       Loud and Embarrassing  Passionate             -       Sloppy drunk  Professional           -       Bitch  Voluptuous             -       Very Fat  Large frame            -       Hugely Fat  Wants Soul mate        -       Stalker  WOMEN'S ENGLISH   1. Yes                   =       No  2. No                    =       Yes  3. Maybe                 =       No  4. We need               =       I want  5. I am sorry            =       you'll be sorry  6. We need to talk       =       you're in trouble  7. Sure, go ahead        =       you better not  8. Do what you want      =       you will pay for this later  9. I am not upset        =       of course I am upset, you moron! 10. You're very attentive tonight       =       is sex all you ever think about?  MEN'S ENGLISH    1. I am hungry                         =       I am hungry  2. I am sleepy                         =       I am sleepy  3. I am tired                          =       I am tired  4. Nice dress                          =       Nice cleavage!                5. I love you                          =       let's have sex now  6. I am bored                          =       Do you want to have sex?  7. May I have this dance?              =       I'd like to have sex with you  8. Can I call you sometime?            =       I'd like to have sex with yoU  9. Do you want to go to a movie?       =       I'd like to have sex with you 10. Can I take you out to dinner?       =       I'd like to have sex with you 11. Those shoes don't go with that outfit   =       I'm gay

And finally..... A recent scientific study found that women find different male faces attractive depending on where they are in their menstrual cycle. For example, when a woman is ovulating she will prefer a man with rugged, masculine features. However when she is menstruating, she prefers a man doused in petrol and set on fire, with scissors stuck in his eye and a cricket stump shoved up his backside.

Here's a cool one sent in by Dan Thompson.

When the air conditioning is broken in your BMW

Whewe-e-e!! I'll have to remember that the next my AC is on the blink. Ole' Bill

source

Warning!!! CAVALRY TROOPER JOKES. NOT FOR THE INOCENT OF HEART

http://www.quarterhorsecav.org/WEEK3.HTM

Wednesday June 20, 2007 - 10:00am (EDT) Permanent Link | 0 Comments

It will put a smile on your face..

It will put a smile on your face..

It will put a smile on your face..

Gasoline

A man was driving down the road and ran out of gas.

Just at that moment, a bee flew in his window.

The bee said, "What seems to be the problem"?

"I'm out of gas."

The bee told the man to wait right there and flew away. Minutes later, the man watched as an entire swarm of bees flew to his car and into his gas tank. After a few minutes, the bees flew out.

"Try it now," said one bee.

The man turned the ignition key and the car started right up.

"Wow!" the man exclaimed. "What did you put in my gas tank"?

Scroll down

Scroll down

The bee answered, "BP."

source

• cool …
• Offline

Date:	Fri, 1 Jun 2007 14:59:55 -0700 (PDT)
From:	"RICHARD CARTER" Add to Address Book Add Mobile Alert Yahoo! DomainKeys has confirmed that this message was sent by yahoo.com. Learn more
Subject:	Fwd: FW: GASOLINE