One for the women
----- Original Message ----- From: "William Wellborn" <http://us.f527.mail.yahoo.com/ym/Compose?To=wrw1959@yahoo.com&YY=74074&y5beta=yes&y5beta=yes&order=down&sort=date&pos=2&view=a&head=b> To: "william wellborn" <http://us.f527.mail.yahoo.com/ym/Compose?To=wrw1959@yahoo.com&YY=74074&y5beta=yes&y5beta=yes&order=down&sort=date&pos=2&view=a&head=b> Sent: Friday, February 16, 2007 12:03 AM Subject: One for the women > Finally one for women! > > > > Q: What should you do if you see your ex-husband > > rolling around in pain on the ground? > > A: Shoot him again. > > > > Q: How can you tell when a man is well-hung? > > A: When you can just barely slip your finger in > > between his neck and the noose. > > > > Q: Why do little boys whine? > > A: Because they're practicing to be men. > > > > Q: How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb? > > A: One - he just holds it up there and waits for the > > world to revolve around him. OR Three - one to screw > in the bulb, > > and two to listen to him brag about the screwing part. > > > > Q: What do you call a handcuffed man? > > A: Trustworthy. > > > > Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping > > > for breath and calling your name? > > A: You didn't hold the pillow down long enough. > > > > Q! : Why does it take 100,000,000 sperm to fertilize > > one egg? > > A: Because not one will stop and ask directions. > > > > Q: Why do female black widow spiders kill their males > > after mating? > > A: To stop the snoring before it starts. > > > > Q: Why do men whistle when they're sitting on the > > toilet? > > A: Because it helps them remember which end they need > > to wipe. > > > > Q: What is the difference between men and women... > > A: A woman wants one man to satisfy her every need. A > > man wants every woman to satisfy his one need. > > > > Q: How does a man keep his youth? > > A: By giving her money, furs and diamonds. > > > > Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your > > e-mail? > > A: Rename the mail folder to "instruction manuals" > > > > Send this to five bright, funny women you know and > > make their day!! > > And send this to five bright men who have the sense of > > > humor to find this funny! > > > > > pix source
Sleeping in again
Walker <>
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Fwd: Fw: One for the women
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Saturday April 28, 2007 - 06:55am (ICT) Edit Delete
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Rebecca
Offline
OK, the jokes were funny, but it was the BEAGLE that caught my eye!!! I WUV beagles!!! I have one too....is that one yours?o sweet with the kitteh!
Friday April 27, 2007 - 08:27pm (EDT) Remove Comment
Saturday November 24, 2007 - 04:30am (EST) Permanent Link 0 Comments
The Rules of Men
The Man Rules At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down
Finally , the guys' side of the story. ( I must admit, it's pretty good.) We always hear " the rules" From the female side.
Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules! Please note.. these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!
1. Men are NOT mind readers. 1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down. 1. Sunday sports It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be. 1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way. 1. Crying is blackmail. 1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it! 1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question. 1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for. 1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days. 1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. 1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one 1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself. 1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.. 1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we. 1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is. 1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that. 1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle. 1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear. 1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really . 1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball or golf. 1. You have enough clothes. 1. You have too many shoes. 1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape! 1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping. Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh. Pass this to as many women as you can -
to give them a bigger laugh.
pix source
A little power nap...
Walker <>
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Walker Smith, 37
Summerville, South Carolina US
School: College Of Charleston
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Date:
Thu, 26 Apr 2007 15:22:13 -0700 (PDT)
From:
"Walker Smith"View Contact Details Add Mobile Alert Yahoo! DomainKeys has confirmed that this message was sent by yahoo.com. Learn more
Subject:
Fwd: FW: Smile!
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Date:
Sat, 17 Mar 2007 12:59:24 -0700 (PDT)
From:
"Lynn Seals"View Contact Details Add Mobile Alert Yahoo! DomainKeys has confirmed that this message was sent by yahoo.com. Learn more
Subject:
Fwd: FW: The Rules of Men
Saturday November 24, 2007 - 03:56am (EST) Permanent Link 0 Comments
Irish Toast
Voted Best Joke in Ireland 2006 John O'Reilly hoisted his beer and said, "Here's to spending the rest of me life!, between the legs of me wife!" That won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night! He went home and told his wife, Mary, "I won the prize for the Best toast of the night" She said, "Aye, did ye now. And what was your toast?" John said, "Here's to spending the rest of me life, sitting in church beside me wife." "Oh, that is very nice indeed, John!" Mary said. The next day, Mary ran into one of John's drinking buddies on the street corner. The man chuckled leeringly and said, "John won the prize the other night at the pub with a toast about you, Mary." She said, "Aye, he told me, and I was a bit surprised myself. You know, he's only been there twice in the last four years. Once he fell asleep, and the other time I had to pull him by the ears to make him come."
Harry Berndt
http://us.f527.mail.yahoo.com/ym/Compose?To=harry.l.berndt@earthlink.net
Why Wait? Move to EarthLink.
pixsource:
Walker <>
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Walker Smith, 37
Summerville, South Carolina US
School: College Of Charleston
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Date:
Thu, 26 Apr 2007 15:22:13 -0700 (PDT)
From:
"Walker Smith"View Contact Details Add Mobile Alert Yahoo! DomainKeys has confirmed that this message was sent by yahoo.com. Learn more
Subject:
Fwd: FW: Smile!
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Date:
Tue, 27 Feb 2007 13:57:37 -0800 (PST)
From:
"Lynn Seals"View Contact Details Add Mobile Alert Yahoo! DomainKeys has confirmed that this message was sent by yahoo.com. Learn more
Subject:
Fwd: Irish Toast
Saturday November 24, 2007 - 03:39am (EST) Permanent Link 0 Comments
Overheard From the Witness Box
Defense Attorney: Will you please state your age? Little Old Lady: I am 86 years old. Defense Attorney: Will you tell us, in your own words, what happened the night of April 1st? Little Old Lady: There I was, sitting there in my swing on my front porch on a warm spring evening, when a young man comes creeping up on the porch and sat down beside me. Defense Attorney: Did you know him? Little Old Lady: No, but he sure was friendly. Defense Attorney: What happened after he sat down? Little Old Lady: He started to rub my thigh. Defense Attorney: Did you stop him? Little Old Lady: No, I didn't stop him. Defense Attorney: Why not? Little Old Lady: It felt good. Nobody had done that since my Albert died some 30 years ago.
Defense Attorney: What happened next? Little Old Lady: He began to rub my breasts. Defense Attorney: Did you stop him then? Little Old Lady: No, I did not stop him. Defense Attorney: Why not? Little Old Lady: His rubbing made me feel all alive and excited. I haven't felt that good in years! Defense Attorney: What happened next? Little Old Lady: Well, by then, I was feeling so "spicy" that I just laid down and told him "Take me, young man. Take me now!" Defense Attorney: Did he take you? Little Old Lady: Hell, no! He just yelled, "April Fool!" And that's when I shot him, the little bastard.
Harry Berndt
http://us.f527.mail.yahoo.com/ym/Compose?To=harry.l.berndt@earthlink.net
Why Wait? Move to EarthLink.
source:
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Date:
Fri, 16 Mar 2007 16:57:04 -0700 (PDT)
From:
"Lynn Seals"View Contact Details Add Mobile Alert Yahoo! DomainKeys has confirmed that this message was sent by yahoo.com. Learn more
Subject:
Fwd: Overheard From the Witness Box
pixsource:
Walker <>
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Walker Smith, 37
Summerville, South Carolina US
School: College Of Charleston
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Date:
Thu, 26 Apr 2007 15:22:13 -0700 (PDT)
From:
"Walker Smith"View Contact Details Add Mobile Alert Yahoo! DomainKeys has confirmed that this message was sent by yahoo.com. Learn more
Subject:
Fwd: FW: Smile!
Friday November 23, 2007 - 11:15pm (EST) Permanent Link 0 Comments
HELL EXPLAINED BY CHEMISTRY STUDENT
Tuesday November 20, 2007 - 11:31pm (EST) Permanent Link 0 Comments
----- Original Message ----- From: "William Wellborn" <http://us.f527.mail.yahoo.com/ym/Compose?To=wrw1959@yahoo.com&YY=74074&y5beta=yes&y5beta=yes&order=down&sort=date&pos=2&view=a&head=b> To: "william wellborn" <http://us.f527.mail.yahoo.com/ym/Compose?To=wrw1959@yahoo.com&YY=74074&y5beta=yes&y5beta=yes&order=down&sort=date&pos=2&view=a&head=b> Sent: Friday, February 16, 2007 12:03 AM Subject: One for the women > Finally one for women! > > > > Q: What should you do if you see your ex-husband > > rolling around in pain on the ground? > > A: Shoot him again. > > > > Q: How can you tell when a man is well-hung? > > A: When you can just barely slip your finger in > > between his neck and the noose. > > > > Q: Why do little boys whine? > > A: Because they're practicing to be men. > > > > Q: How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb? > > A: One - he just holds it up there and waits for the > > world to revolve around him. OR Three - one to screw > in the bulb, > > and two to listen to him brag about the screwing part. > > > > Q: What do you call a handcuffed man? > > A: Trustworthy. > > > > Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping > > > for breath and calling your name? > > A: You didn't hold the pillow down long enough. > > > > Q! : Why does it take 100,000,000 sperm to fertilize > > one egg? > > A: Because not one will stop and ask directions. > > > > Q: Why do female black widow spiders kill their males > > after mating? > > A: To stop the snoring before it starts. > > > > Q: Why do men whistle when they're sitting on the > > toilet? > > A: Because it helps them remember which end they need > > to wipe. > > > > Q: What is the difference between men and women... > > A: A woman wants one man to satisfy her every need. A > > man wants every woman to satisfy his one need. > > > > Q: How does a man keep his youth? > > A: By giving her money, furs and diamonds. > > > > Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your > > e-mail? > > A: Rename the mail folder to "instruction manuals" > > > > Send this to five bright, funny women you know and > > make their day!! > > And send this to five bright men who have the sense of > > > humor to find this funny! > > > > > pix source
Sleeping in again
Walker <>
Top Page Blog Feeds Friends
Walker Smith, 37
Summerville, South Carolina US
School: College Of Charleston
Write a Testimonial
Walker is your Friend.
Date:
Thu, 26 Apr 2007 15:22:13 -0700 (PDT)
From:
"Walker Smith"
Subject:
Fwd: FW: Smile!
source:
<>
Top Page Blog Friends Lists Groups
Date:
Tue, 20 Feb 2007 17:45:06 -0800 (PST)
From:
"Lynn Seals"
Subject:
Fwd: Fw: One for the women
Tags: Edit Tags
Saturday April 28, 2007 - 06:55am (ICT) Edit Delete
Next Post: REAL FRIEND TEST ! Previous Post: Some basic facts on Men
Comments(1 total) Post a Comment
Rebecca
Offline
OK, the jokes were funny, but it was the BEAGLE that caught my eye!!! I WUV beagles!!! I have one too....is that one yours?o sweet with the kitteh!
Friday April 27, 2007 - 08:27pm (EDT) Remove Comment
Saturday November 24, 2007 - 04:30am (EST) Permanent Link 0 Comments
The Rules of Men
The Man Rules At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down
Finally , the guys' side of the story. ( I must admit, it's pretty good.) We always hear " the rules" From the female side.
Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules! Please note.. these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!
1. Men are NOT mind readers. 1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down. 1. Sunday sports It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be. 1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way. 1. Crying is blackmail. 1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it! 1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question. 1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for. 1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days. 1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. 1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one 1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself. 1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.. 1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we. 1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is. 1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that. 1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle. 1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear. 1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really . 1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball or golf. 1. You have enough clothes. 1. You have too many shoes. 1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape! 1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping. Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh. Pass this to as many women as you can -
to give them a bigger laugh.
pix source
A little power nap...
Walker <>
Top Page Blog Feeds Friends
Walker Smith, 37
Summerville, South Carolina US
School: College Of Charleston
Write a Testimonial
Walker is your Friend.
Date:
Thu, 26 Apr 2007 15:22:13 -0700 (PDT)
From:
"Walker Smith"
Subject:
Fwd: FW: Smile!
source:
<>
Top Page Blog Friends Lists Groups
Date:
Sat, 17 Mar 2007 12:59:24 -0700 (PDT)
From:
"Lynn Seals"
Subject:
Fwd: FW: The Rules of Men
Saturday November 24, 2007 - 03:56am (EST) Permanent Link 0 Comments
Irish Toast
Voted Best Joke in Ireland 2006 John O'Reilly hoisted his beer and said, "Here's to spending the rest of me life!, between the legs of me wife!" That won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night! He went home and told his wife, Mary, "I won the prize for the Best toast of the night" She said, "Aye, did ye now. And what was your toast?" John said, "Here's to spending the rest of me life, sitting in church beside me wife." "Oh, that is very nice indeed, John!" Mary said. The next day, Mary ran into one of John's drinking buddies on the street corner. The man chuckled leeringly and said, "John won the prize the other night at the pub with a toast about you, Mary." She said, "Aye, he told me, and I was a bit surprised myself. You know, he's only been there twice in the last four years. Once he fell asleep, and the other time I had to pull him by the ears to make him come."
Harry Berndt
http://us.f527.mail.yahoo.com/ym/Compose?To=harry.l.berndt@earthlink.net
Why Wait? Move to EarthLink.
pixsource:
Walker <>
Top Page Blog Feeds Friends
Walker Smith, 37
Summerville, South Carolina US
School: College Of Charleston
Write a Testimonial
Walker is your Friend.
Date:
Thu, 26 Apr 2007 15:22:13 -0700 (PDT)
From:
"Walker Smith"
Subject:
Fwd: FW: Smile!
source
<>
Top Page Blog Friends Lists Groups
Date:
Tue, 27 Feb 2007 13:57:37 -0800 (PST)
From:
"Lynn Seals"
Subject:
Fwd: Irish Toast
Saturday November 24, 2007 - 03:39am (EST) Permanent Link 0 Comments
Overheard From the Witness Box
Defense Attorney: Will you please state your age? Little Old Lady: I am 86 years old. Defense Attorney: Will you tell us, in your own words, what happened the night of April 1st? Little Old Lady: There I was, sitting there in my swing on my front porch on a warm spring evening, when a young man comes creeping up on the porch and sat down beside me. Defense Attorney: Did you know him? Little Old Lady: No, but he sure was friendly. Defense Attorney: What happened after he sat down? Little Old Lady: He started to rub my thigh. Defense Attorney: Did you stop him? Little Old Lady: No, I didn't stop him. Defense Attorney: Why not? Little Old Lady: It felt good. Nobody had done that since my Albert died some 30 years ago.
Defense Attorney: What happened next? Little Old Lady: He began to rub my breasts. Defense Attorney: Did you stop him then? Little Old Lady: No, I did not stop him. Defense Attorney: Why not? Little Old Lady: His rubbing made me feel all alive and excited. I haven't felt that good in years! Defense Attorney: What happened next? Little Old Lady: Well, by then, I was feeling so "spicy" that I just laid down and told him "Take me, young man. Take me now!" Defense Attorney: Did he take you? Little Old Lady: Hell, no! He just yelled, "April Fool!" And that's when I shot him, the little bastard.
Harry Berndt
http://us.f527.mail.yahoo.com/ym/Compose?To=harry.l.berndt@earthlink.net
Why Wait? Move to EarthLink.
source:
<>
Top Page Blog Friends Lists Groups
Date:
Fri, 16 Mar 2007 16:57:04 -0700 (PDT)
From:
"Lynn Seals"
Subject:
Fwd: Overheard From the Witness Box
pixsource:
Walker <>
Top Page Blog Feeds Friends
Walker Smith, 37
Summerville, South Carolina US
School: College Of Charleston
Write a Testimonial
Walker is your Friend.
Date:
Thu, 26 Apr 2007 15:22:13 -0700 (PDT)
From:
"Walker Smith"
Subject:
Fwd: FW: Smile!
Friday November 23, 2007 - 11:15pm (EST) Permanent Link 0 Comments
HELL EXPLAINED BY CHEMISTRY STUDENT
Tuesday November 20, 2007 - 11:31pm (EST) Permanent Link 0 Comments
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