Thursday 9 July 2009

Which one do you think is the blonde?

















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Hi, my friends. Wellcome to my site, my memory and my life. Best wish to u and we r happy in God. Binh Arch
Which one do you think is the blonde?

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WELCOME TO OLE' BILL'S WEEKLY NEWSLETTER
March 2009 - Week 3

Wednesday April 29, 2009 - 04:42am (EDT) Permanent Link 0 Comments
Which one do you think is the blonde?

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Here is another educational joke sent in by John Conley.
Okay...........here it is. A test to see if your brain is still working.
Which one do you think is the blonde?
Scroll downAmazing I did notSee it before.p>
The Blonde is the oneWith the wrong leg up.
That is OK I did not Pass the test EITHER!!!!!
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Heres another tax reminder from Danny Slaughter.
A woman walks into an accountant's office and tells him that she needs to file her taxes.
The accountant says, "Before we begin, I'll need to ask you a few questions." He gets her name, address, social security number, etc. and then asks "What's your occupation?"
"I'm a Lady of the night," she says.
The accountant is somewhat taken aback and says, "Let's try to rephrase that."
The woman says, "OK, I'm a high-end call girl".
"No, that still won't work. Try again." They both think for a minute; then the woman says,
"I'm an elite chicken farmer." The accountant asks, "What does chicken farming have to do with being a prostitute?"
"Well, I raised a thousand little peckers last year."
"Chicken Farmer it is.
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WELCOME TO OLE' BILL'S WEEKLY NEWSLETTER
March 2009 - Week 3

Wednesday April 29, 2009 - 04:31am (EDT) Permanent Link 0 Comments
YOUR VERY FIRST EASTER CARD FOR 2009 ! ! !

Rob Ferguson wants to get your Easter started off right. BB I HOPE THAT THIS IS YOUR VERY FIRST EASTER CARD FOR 2009 ! ! !
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Rob Ferguson has been doing some research.
After a few days the Lord called to Adam and said "It's time for you and Eve to begin populating the earth, I want you to kiss her" Adam says "Yes Lord, but what's a kiss?" The Lord described a kiss to Adam who took Eve by the hand, led her behind a bush and emerged in a few minutes saying "Thank you Lord. That was enjoyable" The Lord replied "Yes Adam, I thought you'd like that, now I'd like you to caress Eve" and Adam said, "What's a caress?" The lord gave Adam a brief description of caressing and again Adam went behind the bush with Eve...several minutes later they emerged smiling and Adam said, Thankyou Lord, that's even better than the kiss. And the Lord said "You've done well, Adam, Now I want you to make love to Eve" and Adam, of course needed a description of love making, after which he took Eve back behind the bush but within mere seconds Adam reemerged looking puzzled and asked "Lord what's a headache?"
******************************************************** source quarterhorsecav WELCOME TO OLE' BILL'S WEEKLY NEWSLETTER
April 2009 - Week 3

Wednesday April 29, 2009 - 03:14am (EDT) Permanent Link 0 Comments
HOW TO SOLVE YOUR MID-LIFE CRISIS

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Thanks to Joe West for this one. Man, I used to watch his program every week. Never saw any women that looked like these!
The Lone Ranger was ambushed and capturedBy an enemy Indian War Party.
The Indian Chief proclaims,"So, YOU are the great Lone Ranger" ...
"In honor of the Harvest Festival,YOU will be executed in three days."
"Before I kill you, I grant you three requests"
"What is your FIRST request ???'
The Lone Ranger responds,"I'd like to speak to my horse."
The Chief nods and Silver is broughtBefore the Lone Ranger who whispers in Silver's ear, and the horse gallops away.
Later that evening, Silver returns withA beautiful blonde woman on his back. As the Indian Chief watches, The blonde enters the Lone Ranger's tentAnd spends the night.
The next morning the Indian Chief admitshe's impressed. "You have a very fine and loyal horse",
"But I will still kill you in two days."
"What is your SECOND request ???"
The Lone Ranger again asks to speakTo his horse. Silver is brought to him, and he again whispers in the horse's ear.
As before, Silver takes off and disappearsOver the horizon.
Later that evening, to the Chief's surprise,Silver again returns, this time with a Voluptuous brunette, more attractive Than the blonde.
She enters the Lone Rangers tentAnd spends the night.
The following morning the Indian ChiefIs again impressed.. "You are indeed a man of many talents," "But I will still kill you tomorrow." "What is your LAST request ???"
The Lone Ranger responds,"I'd like to speak to my horse, ..... ALONE."
The Chief is curious, but he agrees,And Silver is brought to The Lone Ranger's tent..
Once they're alone,The Lone Ranger grabs Silver by both ears,Looks him square in the eye and says,
Listen Very Carefully !!!!FOR... THE... LAST... TIME...
I SAID ..."BRING POSSE"
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My wife likes this one. I don't think it's really that funny.
AFTER BEING MARRIED FOR 40 YEARS, I TOOK A CAREFUL LOOK AT MY WIFE ONE DAY AND SAID,"HONEY, 40 YEARS AGO WE HAD A CHEAP APARTMENT, A CHEAP CAR, SLEPT ON ASOFA BED AND WATCHED A 10-INCH BLACK AND WHITE TV, BUT I GOT TO SLEEP EVERYNIGHT WITH A HOT 21-YEAR-OLD GIRL.
NOW I HAVE A $800,000 HOME, A $65,000 CAR, A KING-SIZE BED AND A PLASMA SCREEN TV,BUT I'M SLEEPING WITH A 61-YEAR-OLD WOMAN. IT SEEMS TO ME THAT YOU'RE NOT HOLDING UP YOUR SIDE OF THINGS."
MY WIFE IS A VERY REASONABLE WOMAN. SHE TOLD ME TO GO OUT ANDFIND A HOT 21-YEAR-OLD GIRL, AND SHE WOULD MAKE SURE THAT I WOULDONCE AGAIN BE LIVING IN A CHEAP APARTMENT, DRIVING A CHEAP CAR,SLEEPING ON A SOFA BED AND WATCHING A 10-INCH BLACK AND WHITE TV.
AREN'T OLDER WOMEN GREAT? THEY REALLY KNOW HOW TO SOLVE YOURMID-LIFE CRISIS.
********************************************************************sourcequarterhorsecavWELCOME TO OLE' BILL'S WEEKLY NEWSLETTERApril 2009 - Week 4

Wednesday April 29, 2009 - 03:03am (EDT) Permanent Link 0 Comments
Tips for the ladies in year 2009

The ladies are going to love Danny Slaughter for this one.
Tips for the ladies in year 2009
1. Aspire to be Barbie - the bitch has everything.
2. If the shoe fits - buy one in every color.
3. Take life with a pinch of salt... A wedge of lime, and a shot of tequila.
4. In need of a support group? - Cocktail hour with the girls!
5. Go on the 30 day diet. (I'm on it and so far I've lost 15 days).
6. When life gets you down - just put on your big girl panties and deal with it.
7. Let your greatest fear be that there is no PMS and this is just your personality.
8.. I know I'm in my own little world, but it's ok. They know me here..
9. Lead me not into temptation, I can find it myself.
10. Don't get your knickers in a knot, it solves nothing; a nd makes you walk funny.
11. When life gives you lemons in 2009 - turn it into lemonade then mix it with vodka.
12. Remember every good-looking, sweet, single male is someone else's ex-boyfriend!
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Has anyone noticed how Gray Jim Dempsey's hair is getting?
ABOUT GROWING OLDER...
First ~ Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.
Second ~ The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.
Third ~ Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me, I want people to know 'why' I look this way. I've traveled a long way and some of the roads weren't paved.
Fourth ~ When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth, think of Algebra.
Fifth ~ You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks.
Sixth ~ I don't know how I got over the hill without getting to the top.
Seventh ~ One of the many things no one tells you about aging is that it is such a nice change from being young.
Eighth ~ One must wait until evening to see how splendid the day has been.
Ninth ~ Being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable.
Tenth ~ Long ago when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft. Today it's called golf.
And finally ~ If you don't learn to laugh at trouble, you won't have anything to laugh at when you are old.
Good Advice: Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
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I wonder if they wrote them theirselves or someone else wrote them. BB
Browsing Old Cemeteries A truly Happy Person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour.And, one who can enjoy browsing old cemeteries...Some fascinating things on old tombstones!
Harry Edsel Smith of Albany, New York : Born 1903--Died 1942. Looked up the elevator shaft to see if the car was on the way down. It was. ============================= In a Thurmont, Maryland , cemetery: Here lies an Atheist, all dressed up and no place to go. ============================= On the grave of Ezekial Aikle in East Dalhousie Cemetery , Nova Scotia : Here lies Ezekial Aikle, Age 102. Only The Good Die Young. ============================= In a London , England cemetery: Here lies Ann Mann, Who lived an old maid but died an old Mann. Dec. 8, 1767 ============================= In a Ribbesford, England , cemetery: Anna Wallace The children of Israel wanted bread, And the Lord sent them manna. Clark Wallace wanted a wife, And the Devil sent him Anna. =============================== In a Ruidoso, New Mexico , cemetery: Here lies Johnny Yeast... Pardon him for not rising. =============================== In a Uniontown, Pennsylvania , cemetery: Here lies the body of Jonathan Blake. Stepped on the gas instead of the brake. ============================== In a Silver City, Nevada, cemetery: Here lays The Kid. We planted him raw. He was quick on the trigger But slow on the draw. ================================ A lawyer's epitaph in England : Sir John Strange. Here lies an honest lawyer, and that is Strange. ================================= John Penny's epitaph in the Wimborne, England , cemetery: Reader, if cash thou art in want of any, Dig 6 feet deep and thou wilt find a Penny. ================================== In a cemetery in Hartscombe , England : On the 22nd of June, Jonathan Fiddle went out of tune. ================================== Anna Hopewell's grave in Enosburg Falls , Vermont : Here lies the body of our Anna, Done to death by a banana. It wasn't the fruit that laid her low, But the skin of the thing that made her go. ================================== On a grave from the 1880s in Nantucket , Massachusetts : Under the sod and under the trees, Lies the body of Jonathan Pease. He is not here, there's only the pod. Pease shelled out and went to God. ================================== In a cemetery in England : Remember man, as you walk by, As you are now, so once was I As I am now, so shall you be. Remember this and follow me. To which someone replied by writing on the tombstone: To follow you I'll not consent. Until I know which way you went.**************************************************************sourcequarterhorsecavWELCOME TO OLE' BILL'S WEEKLY NEWSLETTERApril 2009 - Week 2

Wednesday April 29, 2009 - 02:37am (EDT) Permanent Link 0 Comments

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